*Ahem, Cough, Cough*

A big hug to the nice folks at Bahrisons, with love from Yashodhara 'Lals'

Learning to say NO

It's been seven months of my sabbatical so far. So much has happened. Incredible amounts. I've been doing regular round-ups, and I figured one is due. For all I know, this might just be the last one. 

- I spent the time that I really wanted to with my grandmother before she passed away earlier this month. I cannot thank life enough for this. I saw her so many times despite the 3 hour back-and-forth ride - by car and sometimes metro. 

- My daughter and I have a different level of relationship now - I was finally able to give her the attention she needed to see that she's basically doing okay. She's incredibly talented and a lot more needs to be done to nurture her. But at least there's a basic routine ( fairly flexible, as it needs to be for a 5 year old). I've spent time with her taking her places, just me and her to give us some much needed alone-time. 

- The men in my life - Vijay, Pickle and Papad - are all doing well. My husband has *gasp* quit smoking. While zero credit goes to me for this ( oh come on, maybe just a little), he's done an admirable job of ridding himself of an addiction of almost two decades. We're not out of the woods yet, but we're getting there and it's been a great few smoke-free weeks. Pickle and Papad are delightful, fundamentally happy little children, who are showing all of us what brotherhood, companionship and firm friendship are all about. A separate post about that one is due. While I'm not spending that much time with them, I can see how happy they are with each other ( although I'm dealing with a little bit of a cold-shoulder from the Pickl-a right now and have to work on that one). 

- So much, so much more clarity about life - particularly about the importance of saying no to people and circumstances that make me feel drained. This one is really important for me - for all my achievement-orientation, I'm basically a person who's had major trouble letting go. So for me, it's started now, really - the process of letting them go - saying no to the activities and relationships that suck up time and energy, without creating any real value. I've made some real mistakes in my relationships, particularly mistaking some people to be whom they are not - and I can see them so clearly now - the last few months have serendipitously created so many circumstances to just dust out so many relationships. Some have shaken off the dust, been refurbished and put back in their place, healthier and happier for it. Some are gone now, at least for the time being- although I believe I haven't slammed the door shut, but gently closed it, trying to feel as much love and gratitude for the persons I knew and loved before the relationship turned all toxic. The point is - who remains are those who energize me ( and vice versa, of course) instead of our draining each other. 

While I don't think I'm at a point where I can say with great clarity what direction my career or life will take now, I certainly have tried and rejected some ideas so far. Full time corporate job (there goes a pretty decent corporate career, on hold for now) , full time motherhood (oh please god, no, sorry, thank you, but no) , full time writing ( not at all, sir, that will hopefully always be a happy aside) - none of these feel right for the time being. Finding a happy mix? Yes, that would be ideal, but it's not as easy as it sounds. Yes, there's something else, maybe it'll take a while to find it, maybe it's just around the corner, but I know one thing for sure. 

Doing less, cutting out the crap, getting rid of the noise - they're going to provide some amount of free time and space. All the better to figure it out, my dear. 

P.S - my father-in-law is teaching me yoga now. He's the grand master of all things yoga-related with years and years of experience. Extremely lucky to have him around. 

Sense

I look into your clear eyes and see right into your soul
I listen to your laughter that is louder, fuller, purer than the ringing of temple bells
I touch your smooth skin, wondering at its perfection 
I taste the salt in your tears when you bury your face in my neck for comfort
I smell the sweet scent of your baby-breath as you struggle to tell me how you feel. 
I struggle to tell you how I feel. 
Do you understand the word Blessed?
One day you will. 
When you’re old enough to understand, I’ll be old enough to explain. 
Until then, I just look, listen, touch, taste, and smell. 
And suddenly, the whirling exhaustion of my jaded mind doesn’t matter. 
Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Grandparents

I think I must be luckier than most people - I've had all four of my grandparents around for a long, long time.

I was very close to two of the four in particular. My paternal grandpa and maternal grandma.

The former passed away about two years ago.

The latter barely a week ago - only nine days after the sudden demise of my mother's father. Yes, it's been a tough start to the year for the family -especially my mother, with whom they both lived for the last few years.

For me personally - well, by and large, I've had pretty good relationships with all the grandparents - but with the above two (photos below) it was really special. And one of the most important reasons for my sabbatical was to be able to spend time with my grandma. And I'm so, so, so glad I did it.

Yes, grandparents are altogether awesome beings. I have huge gratitude and fond memories of all of them - Badi, Papa, Dadu and Didu.

P.S - Each of them had quite the sense of humour, amongst their many,many other qualities. That's what I enjoyed most.

When Our Brother is In Town.

* A Churan-waala's day is made. 

- At M-Block market, GK. A nondescript churan-waala sits on a cold winter day.
He's approached by a tall-but-stooping man. To his delight, the fellow proceeds to select Churan of all variety, worth over a thousand bucks. He cannot believe his luck. This is more than he sells in a day.
'I live in the U.K.' explains the unnecessarily chatty tall man. 'My sister comes to you a lot to buy churan, too.'
The fellow from the U.K tries to give him some extra money. Churan-waala cannot understand the concept of a tip, so he insists on plying him with more and more churan. This goes on for a while, and finally U.K man leaves.

- Shortly after, a tall-but-stooping girl stalks up to him. She's a regular of course. But today, to his delight, she's buying more than usual. She selects stuff worth 500 bucks.
'My brother lives in the U.K.' she explains to the fellow. 'I'm buying this for him.'
Churan waala stares and can see the resemblance.
He tells my younger sister that our common brother was here just a couple of hours back! They were both unaware of each other's plans. Therefore, in totality, a total of Rs.1500 worth of churan-sale has taken place today. No-one's complaining. (Least of all me, who ends up getting some of the extras)
Churan-waala by now expects a handsome tip, but the sister shortchanges him by 30 bucks, insisting on the discount.
That's the difference, he mutters to himself, between the Indian and British mentality.

* We discover each other's particular forms of blissful ignorance over Dinner conversation. 

- (brother)You wrote on Facebook that the wine-and-butterchicken combo that we had is Ghati. What's Ghati?
- (me) You don't know Ghati? God, you're such a Ghati.


- (brother) Do you know about Plebgate?
- ( me) Nope.
- (brother) You DON'T? God, you're such a pleb.


- (brother) Don't deny it...I saw Fifty Shades of Grey on your shelf.
- (me) Hey, my FRIEND gave me that.
- (new voice pipes in) What's Fifty shades of Grey?
- (we stare at sister in disbelief) You DON'T know Fifty Shades?
- (sister) Nope.
- (mother pipes in) Is it a bad book?
- (no one knows how to explain)
- (mother continues) Has Chetan Bhagat written it?
- (me, sarcastic) Of course.
- (mother) I knew it.
- (sister) Really?
- (me, horrified) NO! How do you NOT know Fifty shades?
- (sister, undisturbed) I live in a bubble.
- (me) but is bubble not TRANSPARENT?


- (me, randomly) I wonder, what Aflatoon means.
- (sister) mother, what does Aflatoon mean?
- (me, scoffing) why are you asking Mama about Hindi?
- (sister) Her grammar may suck, but her vocabulary isn't bad.
- (mother, annoyed). Thanks.
- (me, challenging) So mother. What does Aflatoon mean?
- (mother, thinks). Philosopher, I think. Plato.
- (me, bursting out laughing) So Akshay Kumar was singing all those years back in fluroscent green pajamas 'Main hoon Plato?' I don't think so.
- (sister, consulting Google) She's right. It's the persian name for Plato.
- (mother basks, I'm still blubbering in shock)
- (sister continues) also means, Explorer.
- (me) THAT's it. He was singing he is an Explorer...not that he is Plato!
- (mother and sister gang up on me) But she DID know that it was Plato's name...


....And that's a sneak peek into the wonderful world of the Lals. Thank you. 

Bonus scene: when our young cousin comes to visit. 

- (cousin) How old are you, brother A ? And V? (referring to his wife)
- (brother) I'm 36, she's 35.
- (cousin) Oh, she's a year younger than you?
- (brother) Er, yes.
- (cousin) And she's always been a year younger? Even in college?
- (brother, after long pause) Yyyyeesss....

Cousin's cheeks redden as she sheepishly explains what she really meant was to ask if the wife was from a junior batch. Her explanations are ignored. 

I love, love, love my family. 

Writing Resolutions

As you may know, HarperCollins and Indiblogger are running a contest to get the best short stories published. If you're a blogger and you write, please do check it out here 

I'm mentoring this contest and my latest post 'Resolutions and a Recap' goes like this - 

As the new year begins, and we start afresh, it’s a good time to think about your goals – and if at all, like me, your goals have anything to do with a creative pursuit, I hope you’ll relate to this.

People talk a lot about how ‘easy it is to get published’ these days – but the fact of the matter is – while it may be easier than before, it’s still not easy per se – a huge percentage of manuscripts are still rejected everyday. And even if there is higher access to publishing houses, with higher demand for new authors these days – there is still one major step that has to be accomplished before you can go out and get your work evaluated.

You have to write the damn thing.

Many authors, including me have faced this comment after getting published.

‘Oh, you’ve written a book? You know, I’ve been thinking about writing one too…’

Personally, I always listen with a  polite smile...(Read full post here)

In Today's Hindu Metroplus

How do you get a marketing professional with three little kids running around the house, and a husband who’s the antithesis of her, to sit down and write a 264 page book? She simply translates her chaotic world into words and out pops a gleaming new novel!

Read it here 

Thank you all, and to all - a Happy New Year!