By the Water Cooler

I am republishing an old office post as part of the By The Water Cooler Contest.

Read, enjoy, participate and spread the word about Parul's new book :-)

My Office Story: Get Well Soon, Bhani

A most unfortunate incident has occurred. I feel almost bad making fun of it.Almost.But seriously... it is quite terrible. Vani had an accident two days back. To cut a long story short....( click and read original post here)

Work-Life Balance

Ever since I went on maternity leave this time round, I've noticed a pattern amongst my friends.
Basically all of them are working in corporates, and they don't seem to have lives.
It's strange. Especially after the twins arrived, there were so many people who were enthusiastic about coming over. One particular weekend, four different friends - Vani, Shome, Manav and Anirudh had promised to come over.
None of them showed up. Not one. And the amazing thing was that none of them even bothered to call.
I realized that when they had said 'I'm going to come and see you and the babies this weekend' - they didn't really mean it. I, on the other hand, had taken it quite literally as their planning to come over. In fact, it was quite funny because here I was thinking 'How will we fit in so many visitors on one weekend' - and then all of them bailed.
I think there is a lot of insincerity creeping into our daily interactions. Some of it is of the type where you meet someone you knew a while back but don't really care too much about anymore, and then you go 'Oh give me a missed call, I'll save your number' - and you know pretty well you're never going to call them or hear from them again. But this particular thing - ''I'll see you this weekend, for sure''- occurred to me with people who happen to be amongst my closest friends. And I know they don't mean it -and I also know that perhaps I am guilty of exactly the same behaviour - but still, it's kind of sad.
The basic issue seems to be that very few people know how to manage their lives outside of their work. The companies that we work in seem to be taking it all out of us. Squeezing out all the energy that we have. Leaving us with only a day or two here and there in which to manage all our household chores and other family committments - and giving us hardly any time and space to nurture any other type of relationship.
I'm sure a lot has been said and written about some sort of social transformation in the big cities in India and the resulting loneliness of the urban working population. But it's only become obvious to me personally during this time that I've been sitting at home feeding my babies.
Incidentally, all these people eventually came and visited. But it took each of them an average of two cancellations and re-schedulings to eventually make it.
Surely there is a better way. There must be a way to hold down a job - no, to be pretty damn good at your job - and still find a way to make time for your family - and the, above and beyond that, still find time for your friends.
You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.
Or am I?

A question to the C-section mothers

Does the scar ever really go away?

It's a Twin Thing

Occasionally over the last few weeks, I've been taking out Pickle and Papad for a walk in the little park inside our complex.

I was gifted the nicest twin stroller by a complete stranger - basically, a lady in the park has a friend whose twins are now grown up. The stroller she had used for them was still in good shape and she didn't know what to do with it - so when the park-lady mentioned it to her, she was only too happy to offer this stroller and I was only too happy to accept.

The thing is that there is no concept of a peaceful walk with the twins. Everybody wants to stop and look at them and ask questions about whether they are identical, how old they are, and so on. The little kids and old aunties alike are equally fascinated by them.

I must say that as a mother it is gratifying to hear things like 'They are sooo cute', and 'How Gorgeous are they'...and so on. Especially since the first few weeks I was hearing comments like 'alien' and 'rats' - and the fact is, they were very alien-and-rat-like in those days.

But now, they are growing well, both over 5 kgs and chubby with the fattest little dimpled thighs and cheeks you ever did see. They are well within the normal range, and their difficult start in the nursery seems to have done them no harm, but in fact has made them much easier to deal with than Peanut ever was. They don't cry or fuss even half as much as she did and they are in general very peaceful little creatures - sleeping, playing by themselves, feeding, burping loudly, pooping and doing all the things that little babies do.

Of course, they are not sleeping through the night but I'm convinced no kid ever does! They wake up every couple of hours for a feed even now, although they are almost 3 months old. I wake up dutifully to feed them and they fall back asleep after a solid burp or two. The fact that there are two of them does make it a fairly continuous process through the night but it bothers me surprisingly little. After the last 3 months being the way they were, little things actually bother me a whole lot less!

Anyway, no one is happier when I bring them to the park than Peanut. She is typically playing football with the K or a friend when I land up with them, and she runs squealing all the way across the park and insists on pushing the stroller with me. She guards them jealously and gives the evil eye to the other tiny girls who bend over too close and -gasp-have the temerity to kiss them. I haven't learnt the art of telling little girls not to do that, despite the risk of infection - they do it so sweetly.

One new lady at the park saw me strolling them around and asked me a couple of questions about them including 'How do you manage?'. There is never an answer to that question so I just laughed and told her that I, in fact, have one more child - and pointed out little Peanut running around in the distance.

Instead of saying anything about how difficult it must be, all the woman said was 'Wow! You are one blessed lady!'.

And I thought 'Yes Ma'am. That I am!'

This is one of those Kala Tika posts, isn't it! All Jinxes, Go Away! Go on now - Shoo!

8 Years and I Still Don't See It Coming

Y (working on laptop on bed, next to lazing husband): Honey, my laptop battery is running out...
Vijay: Hmmm...?
Y: Please plug the charger in for me...
Vijay (Unwilling to move even half an inch): What? No...you plug it in.
Y: (Annoyed because the plug point is just behind his head and this hardly requires any effort on his part) Come on, just plug it in behind you.

( Slight pause as Vijay chooses his words carefully)

Vijay: Honey, you'll find plenty of natural gases there but no electricity...

Admission for Peanut!

So like most other parents of 3 year olds, we have been doing the rounds of various schools to get Peanut admission into Nursery for next year.

But being the very lucky people that we are - one of the nicest schools on our list did a draw of lots a couple of days back, and Peanut's name was the fourth in a list of five girl names drawn for our group that day. It's one of those rather progressive schools and we really liked their approach to education - very different from all the other schools. Now we will spare ourselves the hassles of going to most of the other schools, and only consider one more.

There were a total of 12 names out of a group of about 40, so we are definitely lucky.

Or IS it luck?

I firmly believe it's because I wrote out a cheque to the school BEFORE we went for the draw that day. Yes, I was rather sheepish about trying to apply something that 'The Secret' said, but hey, it clearly worked.

Or DID it?

Vijay claims it's because of his cleverness - he says that when he folded the paper with Peanut's name on it to drop it into the box, he didn't quite fold it all the way - so that it would 'kind of stick out and whoever was drawing the lots would be compelled to pick this paper up'.

Balderdash, I said. It was my cheque-thing!
Nonsense, he said. It was his paper-folding thing.

We argued all the way back home. But we held hands and we were both. very. happy.

My everloving husband

...is always finding new ways to express his feelings for me.